When 2011 started, I decided to take on a Project 365 of my own. I would document the year with two photo reels. One was a simple “general photo a day” reel. And the other, a self portrait a day. I wish I could say that I had grand plans and ideas of what these projects would produce; but, sometimes, I decide to do something just to do it. I figure out the why, and often the how, much later.
As I write this, I’m a mere 25 days into the project, and I am making my way through the self portraits as honestly as I can. I have, somehow, remembered to take a photo each day [although, according to Shugarman’s law, now that I’ve said that
out loud out blog I will probably forget tomorrow.] I have found, along the way, a few things to be true. I am sure many more lessons will come in 2011, and that these are just the tip of the iceberg of learning and self-reflection.
What I’ve Learned About Myself After 25 Days of Self Portraits
I do not like having my photo taken, even by myself, when I am ill.
I wear my IPod Shuffle a lot of the time.
I often like the blurrier photos better. I think it helps me to remember the movement in the moment – that the photo isn’t posed as much as taken during living.
I am much more likely to accessorize if I remember while getting dressed that I will be taking a photo of myself today.
My forehead scar is awesome. But my left cheek birth marks are even more awesome.
It is very easy to take photos of myself while I am sitting at my desk at work.
Since I’ve started the self portrait project, I’ve found I feel a lot more confident. I don’t know why, but I find myself giving attractive 20-something men I meet while out and about “flirting eyes.”
My eyebrows are out of control. And I kind of like them like that.
I’m looking at a stranger when I am looking at myself sans thick rimmed glasses.
When I feel bored with what I’m doing, I grab a prop.
I should experiment with new hair styles every once and while. And when it comes to make up, I will probably abandon the red lip trend.
I’ve stopped smiling for pictures, for some reason – but I’ve never felt more beautiful than while I am looking through these photos.
Sometimes I feel self-conscious about my photo project. Sometimes I feel like I’m back on MySpace. Sometimes I feel like I’m trying to be something I’m not. Sometimes I feel vein. Sometimes I feel like people from my past are laughing at my project and talking smack about me behind my back.
Then I wake myself up and publish the photos in a facebook album for all my family and frienemies to see. I remember that in 20 years I will be very thankful for this project. I remember that it is giving me goodness. I remember how it makes me feel: confident, self-aware, and gorgeous.