1 Hour of time with IPod, IPhone, IMac, or any other Apple product, is not equivalent to one serving of fruit.
Wine is not considered produce, even though it is made with grapes.
Even if you drink an entire bottle of wine, therefore consuming more grapes, it is still not considered a serving of produce. [not that I’ve done that or anything. ahem.]
Same goes for Woodchuck Apple Cider.
And 99 Bananas.
Grape Tomatoes do not count as two servings; one for grape, and one for tomatoes.
Purchasing a 24 karat Gold necklace for yourself, does not, in fact, count as 24 servings of vegetables.
Not matter how much money you spend at Lululemon, or how many hours you spend stalking the website, a serving of sour citrus does not your efforts make.
Green and Black chocolate does not, much to your demise, contain spinach, arugula, romaine, or any other green.
Renting James and the Giant Peach, Fried Green Tomatoes, The Grapes of Wrath, It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, A Clockwork Orange, or Attack of the Killer Tomatoes from Netflix won’t get you in any way closer to your produce consuming goals. Trust me. Even on Instant Queue.
Playlists full of Smashing Pumpkins, The Cranberries, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Bananarama, Blind Melon, or any other amply named musical artist are void of produce consumption.
Probably the most sad to note: you can not add fruit flavored extract to a dessert and consider it a fruit serving.
The corniness of this post, will not, under any circumstances, count as several servings of corn. But maybe just one.
Want to join in the fun? Put your corny hat on and give me your best produce puns in the comments!
This weekend, two of my dearest friends, Julie and Kelly, are in town visiting. When we first started planning weekend to-do lists and festivities, I had a revelation…
There was talk of my “making” everyone wear top hats and faux beards while bowling. [Clearly, there would be no “making” – who wouldn’t want to celebrate President Lincoln’s birthday with a dress up bowling party?!] My friend Jenn, however, nixed the idea of any kind of dress-up party. Apparently, she thinks the bowling alley would be against costumes.
Instead, Saturday morning, I got to work preparing special Birthday Celebration Breakfast
It started with a Handmade Christmas 2010 gift that my mom’s best friend, Miss Judi, sent me – homemade pancake and syrup mix!
Add a few shakes of magic.
And, of course, every good pancake needs a great accessory.
From the Abraham Lincoln quote & fun fact page-a-day calendar Kelly gifted me this weekend:
Abraham Lincoln was born to Thomas Lincoln and Nancy Hanks in a one-room log cabin on the 348-acre Sinking Spring Farm in Kentucky. He was not given a middle name.
More Lincoln #PresidentialFunFacts
In the 1860 presidential elections, Lincoln did not campaign on-road. He focused on “back in the day” social media – distribution of posters, leaflets and newspaper editorials. and WON!
Abraham Lincoln is the only President to hold a patent. His was for a device that was created for keeping shipping vessels buoyant over shoals. The patent number was 6469, issued on May 22, 1849.
Lincoln was the tallest President at six feet, four inches; a full foot taller than the shortest President, James Madison.
Abe liked pancakes too. [I mean, I think so, anyway.]
Ladies and gentlemen, you are looking at the first prize award for the first annual holiday cookie bake-off at my office. Do you realize what this means? This means I WON!!!!
Apparently those 24+ hours I spent in the kitchen was well worth it, because I came away from the bake-off with bragging rights, a fun award, and LOTS of lessons learned.
How to Win a Cookie Bake Off
1. It starts with a recipe. (or two. or three……)
Try several recipes until you find one in which you are beyond happy. I started with six base gingerbread recipes I found on blogs and in cook books, then started making my own modifications to my favorite of the recipes.
The cookies I ended up submitting to the contest (and winning with) were a modified version of Ange’s Wedded Bliss Soft Ginger Cookies. My other favorites were Mama Pea’s Pumpkin Gingersnaps, but I was concerned with the judge’s distaste for pumpkin.
2. Get organized for success.
Read through the recipeat least once completely before beginning. I also bring all the ingredients I will need for the recipe in one place before I even preheat the oven. This assures I won’t be running to the store 4 steps in.
When I am doing a lot of treat baking at one time, I moved a table from my living room into my kitchen to hold all the mix ins, spices, and flavorings I will be using.
I also use the less full baking cabinet shelf to hold all the flours and sugars I will be using. Everything is visible and it’s easy to grab what I need.
I set up my kitchen into stations. One part of my counter holds all of the cookware I will need during my bake-a-thon.
My table is cleared and divided; half devoted to baking sheet prep (cookie cutters, parchment paper, etc) and half devoted to cooling.
My favorite tip from bake-a-palooza 2010? Tape printed out recipes on cabinet doors at eye level! It makes reading instructions a breeze, and you aren’t trying to flip through pages or hold up a piece of paper with dough filled hands.
3. Mixing it up.
If you like crispier cookies, use whites in place of some of the whole eggs in a recipe.
If you like soft cookies, try subbing part of the granulated sugar for equal parts brown sugar. Brown sugar contains more moisture, so it often results in a softer cookie.
If you are making a cookie with dried fruit add ins, such as craisins, raisins, cherries or other any dried fruit try this tip before you add the mix ins to the dough. Pour a bit of boiling water (just to cover) over fruit and cover with plastic wrap. Let sit for 2-3 minutes, drain, and mix into dough. Once baked the fruit will be softer than if you would have poured in directly without this “opening” technique.
4. We like to Move it, Move it. [Getting the dough to the sheet.]
With most cutter cookie recipes, put dough in fridge before rolling and cutting, otherwise cookies could start to lose shape before making it to oven. [*NOTE: Some recipes for cut-out cookies DO NOT refrigerate well, but many do.]
After rolling, dip your cookie cutter in flour and gently knock on side of bowl to avoid clumps of flour on the edges of your cookies.
When trying to make round cookies uniform in size, either drop with mini ice cream scoop (also found in kitchen stores as “cookie scoops.”) or roll dough into a log and slice to same size.
*SGITK Portion Control Tip!* Want to try that recipe you found but don’t want to be left with a four dozen cookies to eat on your own? Think past just putting the baked cookies in the freezer. You can also freeze the dough! Cut/drop your cookies on a sheet as if you were to bake, but instead, put your sheet into the freezer. Wait about 1 hour until the cookie pieces are firm and transfer to freezer bags or Tupperware. Freeze up to 6 weeks. When you bake you don’t need to thaw, them, but you may need to add a minute or two to the baking time.
5. The time for baking and cooling and storing.
Before reusing cookie sheets that came out of the oven, run them under cold water until cool, then dry.
If you are using all oven racks are being used, but the bottom rack is making the cookies darken quickly, try to double up on your cookie sheet on the bottom, creating an extra insulation to prevent burning/browning.
While baking, rotate your sheets- front to back, and each rack – for even cooking. I always set my timer for half of the cook type and rotate my sheets at this point.
Always cool cookies completely before packing, storing, and stacking on top one another. Wire racks are the best place to cool cookies because they allow even airflow from both the top and the bottom of the cookie. I love this set of space saving stacking cookie sheets.
When storing a variety of cookies, don’t put crispy and soft cookies in same container the crispy ones will lose crispness. I also try and separate strong flavors. I use zip lock bags to keep strong scents like peppermint, peanut butter, and gingerbread from “contaminating” each other.
6. When it comes to judgments.
There is no reason to bribe judges. They are already getting cookies. Oh, and, you know, you should “do the right thing” and be “fair” and all that.
Remember that your competitors put in a lot of work. Celebrate all of their efforts and all of your efforts, too.
Taste all the efforts. [this may be the best part.]
Keep your acceptance speech short. There are cookies to eat.