Good Morning, friends! I have quite a treat for you today while I’m in Gettysburg– a guest post from one of my favorite people I’ve met through the interwebs, Mindy! Mindy is a great girl with wonderful insight and such inspirational posts found at her blog, Just a One Girl Revolution. Here, she is discussing the lessons she learned through the end of a friendship – something I think we all face at one point or another. I hope you enjoy this helpful post and take a visit to Mindy’s blog for more goodness!
A few months back, my best friend ended our friendship in a less than gracious email. I was completely devastated; she was my BFF!
In the weeks and months that passed, and we didn’t talk, it slowly became real and I had to accept it. Initially, it was easy to point fingers and place the blame, even taking some of it on myself. In retrospect, though, I don’t think it was really anyone’s fault, but rather that we grew apart and because we are very different people than we were when our friendship began. Now that I’ve had time to process what happened and move on to the next phase of my life, I realize that there are some wonderful life lessons to come out of what happened.
I may have lost my best friend, but that didn’t leave me without any friends. When I looked around at the people that surrounded me, the people I felt most inclined to call, those that heard me vent and let me cry on their shoulder, I realized something wonderful. I have so many dear friends, both my real life friends and my blends (blog friends, of course!). I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life; I don’t want to let the end of one friendship affect all the rest. In all honesty, I think it’s made my other friendships stronger! The time I was previously spending with my BFF, I could focus on my other dear friends!
Moping isn’t going to change anything. But, take time to be upset. When I got the email, I found a quiet room at work, called my mom, and cried. Okay, okay, I sobbed. I was so hurt. That night, I came home and uncorked open a bottle of wine. Perhaps not the healthiest response, but cathartic nonetheless! Mourning is a naturally response to any loss, so own those feelings! It’s completely okay to be sad, just don’t be sad forever.
Learn from it. Sure, I think that it was a naturally progression of where life had brought each of us, but I also realize that there things we both did which were contributing factors. I could only focus on “she did this, she could have done this differently”, but instead, I asked those questions about myself. What did (or didn’t) I do that I could have changed? Taking a chance for self-reflection provides the opportunity to see how I can be a better friend to others.
Ultimately, I had to remember that I am so much more than that one friendship. I have hobbies and passions, my family and other friends, and a life outside of that one relationship. I realized that it had truly been a long time coming and I am content with where life has brought me as a result.
Ironically, the end of a friendship looks similarly like the end of a romantic relationship; yet, that seems fitting. Whether a best friend or a boyfriend/girlfriend, it’s a change to not have that person in your life anymore. Take time to mourn, to be sad, but remember that life will get better and one day, it will all seem okay.
Notes from Heather: