by insprired by Heather’s post, Letters, Megan shares her own experiences writing letters to little ones across the country.
While I have no children of my own, I am an “Auntie Megan” to several tiny humans! I have 3 girls who I am the closest to. (I call them “The Baby Girls” and they are pretty much the best things in the whole world. They renewed my faith in a higher power and give me continual hope for the future of this world. I will happily tell you all about them in the future!)
But instead, today I want to tell you about a very new person in my life. Her parents were friends of mine in college and I was a bridesmaid in their wedding. (Apparently I’m doing my “I’m too sexy for this dress” look in this picture, to the right, from their wedding day!) They have been very, very dear friends of mine for many years. Even though they were a year younger than me in college, I look up to them and respect them immensely. After they got married and lived in NY for a few years, they moved back to Chicago and got pregnant!!! I was so excited to be an Auntie Megan again!!!
“Baby I” was finally born last summer. Though I live far away from their family, I made plans to visit her as part of a very long vacation last summer. Both her mother and I had a little discussion with her before she was born asking her to come at the right time so I could see her. Being as diligent and as smart as her mom, she came at the perfect time! I got to hold Baby I in the hospital and then again when I came home from my lovely trip.
In an effort to stay connected with Baby I despite our enormous distance, I try to send her things often. I got her a book with my voice on it and made CDs for her to listen to before she was even born. A few months after she was born, I found an adorable little onsie with “Lady Goo-Goo” on it. [you can find a similiar one here!] Now, I know we haven’t talked about how I feel about Lady Gaga, but I think she is doing some pretty great things for society. (We can talk more about this later if you’d like…I know that there are many who don’t agree with me!)
I don’t think it’s fair to do things to children without them knowing your reasons because they are too little to make choices for themselves. Understanding other people’s choices helps them develop the ability to justify their choices earlier. So, I attached a letter with my package for Baby I explaining my gift:
Dearest Baby I,
This is your Auntie Megan!!! I found this little outfit recently when I was visiting Mankato – a place I used to live. I’m sure over the years we will have many great discussions. And some of them (not all, but some-maybe many) will involve important things like identity, gender, culture, icons, society, etc. So this is our first discussion (rather one sided, but that ok. You can take it all in!)
See, many people will do things to you to help you grow up and find your place in this world. We will ask you your favorite color, teach you how to throw a ball and encourage you to listen to certain types of music (um, if you remember, I was doing this before you were born!). These things help us form our identity before we can do so ourselves.
One thing that becomes very important to our identity is the clothes we put on our bodies. Your mom and dad are excellent examples of people who have found their own styles and dress in a way that helps people interpret who they are. Well, you can’t pick out your clothes yet, so they do it for you. AND people will buy clothes for you!!!
The reason I’m going into all of this is that people will put things on your body that they won’t explain. And I think if I’m going to buy you something that has a statement of communication, you (um, and mom and dad!) should know my reasonings behind it (since you can’t really choose yet. Did I mention I have a masters in Communication and teach at a college. This will help context this conversation).
There are lots of great things happening in the world right now (this is almost always true). As has been true for the past hundreds of years, there are certain people in power and other people fighting for rights. (The group of people often shifts, but the set up is still the same). Some of the people who are fighting for rights currently are queer or weird. And your Auntie Megan is pretty passionate about this.
I am not alone! There are lots of other people too! Many live really close to you in a place called Boystown! (You can tell from your stroller that it’s Boystown cause of the pretty bright colored flags!) Anyway, this fight often doesn’t get center stage in our news or culture. But there are a few people who are working to bring it front and center.
One of them is called Lady Gaga! (yes, that’s her name! Even her mom calls her that!) She also sings music-I’m pretty sure that I put some versions of her songs on some of your CDs!!! Some people really like her music. I like some of it, and the songs that are very meaningful to me make me cry (in a good way!). Beyond that, she wears amazing costumes, is very theatric and is always using performativity!!! Because of this and other reasons, I think she’s really awesome! (I even wrote a 26 page critical analysis of how she is pushing the bounds of common. You can read it when you are older. When it’s published! If you want). So this shirt is sort of a joke on her name-instead of Lady Gaga, it says Lady Goo Goo!!
I thought that was funny and I also thought since you ARE Baby I, goddess of the rainbows, and you DO live near Boystown, you should have this!!!! Everyone will think you look FABULOUS in your stroller!! I am not sure whether it’s daywear, pjs, or both, but either way, I thought you should have it. I do miss you very very very much. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to come visit, but I will keep sending you things and reminding you that I am your Auntie Megan and I love you sooooooo much!!!!
A few day’s after I sent the package, Baby I’s father sent me a text that said, “Thank you so much for the outfit and the primer on identity politics. We read it to her this morning!”
