Passions, False Promises, & Living with a Boy

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This past summer, I decided to take a serious attempt at shifting from a “to-do” mindset, to a “to-be” mindset.  A lot of little changes and generally just being more aware of the way I live helped make this a reality.  I looked at how I respond to things, my planning nature, choices I make, the people in my life and mostly, what makes me truly happy, and made changes where I saw necessary in order to try and, to use a popular phrase, “live my best life now.”

The to-be mindset lasted well through the summer, into autumn.  I went on a serious passion hunt not long after Halloween, and was especially motivated to connect my passions  and the choices I make in living my life.  I have always been able to tell you what hobbies, activities, and subject manners spark a fire deep within my soul.  These are the things I could talk about for hours, which give me that goofy smile, and add all kinds of excitement to my heart during discussion. 

Identifying these passions was only the first step, though.  It’s an important one, for sure!, but it wasn’t that long ago when I realized that simply talking about these passions wasn’t enough for me.  I wanted to PURSUE these passions.  When I was reminded that I need to create space in my life for my passions, it was as if my entire world shifted.  It seems a bit silly, completely cliché and perhaps worth an eye roll that a motivational quotation on a sticky note seemed to make all the difference in my life.

With the desire to connect my time and energy with my passions, I also shifted my mindset once more.  While talking to Nick*** one evening, I brought up the shift from to-do, towards to-be.  He asked me a simple question which shifted my thinking once again. What about just “do” and “be”?  Touché.

That’s where I am now.  I am trying to BE PASSIONATE.  I am trying to DO things which accompany my passions.  I think this is good advice to anyone.  It doesn’t matter WHAT the passions are that I am focusing on, or how much they differ from your own passions.  No one passion is better or lesser than another.  What is important is that you are chasing whatever it is.  That you are being passionate, and that you do something about it. Go. Be. Do.


You know one thing I’ve always been guilty of since day one of this little blog space? Follow through.  Admittedly, I SUCK at saying “I’m going to talk more about this” and actually, you know, talking about it.  It seems to me that over and over again I say “I’m going to tell you all about this” and really should add “…seven months later!” to the end.  I’ve promised you, “ I want to share about X, Y, and Z” but what I mean is, “eventually.”  I tell you to “stay tuned to THS because I’ll cover that soon! “ but I’ve come to realize that I lie to you time and time again.

It’s never on purpose. I always have the INTENTION of writing more, answering questions, diving into the subject, and clearing things up – but apparently, my desire to stop writing forced posts and only write and publish what I am honestly motivated and inspired to write without pressure takes priority over my word.  I have compromised my integrity.  And I owe you an apology for that. I am sorry. Truly.


I’m not here to say“oh! I’ve recognized the problem and in order to correct it, I am going to go back through the archives and write about each subject I’ve promised you.”  That would be one way to handle it, sure.  But it would also be exhausting and probably unnecessary, on several subjects.   I do have lots of drafts of posts I’ve started over time, and I would bet that eventually I will come back to some of them to finish their tales.  I also know that a lot of those drafts will die.  That’s okay with me.  That’s what happens when you create sometimes, not just in blog posts, but in crafting, and cooking, and painting, and more.  Sometimes you start things and they get thrown in the trash.  Sometimes you start things and you lose motivation.  Sometimes you start things and you just give up.  This is all a part of life and a part of being a creator.

What I am going to try very hard to do, is stop telling you “I’m going to talk more about this soon!” I’m going to try to recognize that I have no follow through on writing blog posts, and stop making false promises.

I’m going to continue writing when I want to write, and posting when I want to post, and covering what I can, when I can, and what I want to, when I want to. 

 I’m going to continue to try to add value to what is posted on THS, weither by me, the brilliant Megan, or anyone else who may stumble their way here to share what they know and to give us their stories.

So, there’s that. [< note: every time I say “so, there’s that,” outloud or typed, in my mind, it is said in the same exact tone and inflect as in the movie Garden State. Anyone else?]


 *** Completely unrelated sidenote & an answer to your question:
A while back, someone asked in the comments section if Nick and I were living together or just stay over from time to time.  I meant to write a post about this, but never got around to it. [see: this entire post about follow through]  So the quick answer for you now:   It sort of happened by accident.  Nick works near my apartment, and so a lot of time, he stayed over for convenience.   Of course, some of his belongings made their way to my place for convenience, too.

One day, we realized it had been a long time since he hadn’t stayed over, and we decided to talk about that.  Because that’s what couples do.  Or, at the very least, that’s what we do.  

[and, yes: I also really like having him there.]

After next month, the plan is to have a merging of stuff; bringing his stuff from his place and out of storage, and moving into my current apartment.  Of course, my apartment has been my apartment for so long, and will probably feel like “my” apartment after he officially moves in, too.  Plans to move into a different apartment are on the books – but not for quite a while.  There are other exciting things going on in our lives which make the apartment hunt less of a priority. 

I also am excited to do a real “home search.”  [Can you believe of ALL the places I’ve lived, I’ve always moved into the first place I found?]  We are looking forward to taking our time, making some lists of must-haves, and looking at several places [if necessary] to find the perfect place to sign our first official lease together.

My mother, of course, gave me her motherly advice, which I know some of you will want to say, too. I totally agree with what she said, which, was the same thing she said last time I moved in with a boy.  “Make sure it’s a place you could each afford on your own, too.  Just in case anything was to happen.”

I promise, I will.  And that’s a promise in which I WILL follow through.

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14 thoughts on “Passions, False Promises, & Living with a Boy

    1. Heather Post author

      i am not apologizing for not posting. i am just apologizing for telling [unintentional] lies.
      i will never apologize for not posting. ever. blech.

  1. Andrea

    I know how it is to lose motivation/time/etc… just look at my blog! I try not to beat myself up over the fact that I haven’t posted in over two months… the fact is that I was working 20-30 hours a week when I started, and am now working a pretty steady 40+!

    I think accepting and forgiving yourself for not following through is so much more important than apologizing to your readers. Remember to give yourself grace and think about what you have accomplished- it’s a lot!

    I LOVE what you’re saying about “just do” and “just be.” Totally get it.

    Thanks for always being inspiring and making me reflect on my own life! 🙂
    Andrea recently posted..Cranberry-apple pie with streusel topping.

    1. Heather Post author

      hahahahaha. I love you gram! Mom also passed on advice that YOU gave her way back when she and dad wanted to live together before they were married. Do you remember?

      That it’s a commitment.
      and that if you aren’t married, it’s easier to walk out.
      so you REALLY have to be commited to making it work. REALLY commited.

      though – i am sure your words were much more poetic than I briefly described them right there!

      LOVE YOU! xoxoxo

      1. gramshugs

        I guess I’m gettin old…cause I don’t remember. Poetic, no, but truer words were never spoken. Commitment…it works. 50 years for us…30 years for Mom and Dad! Commitment works if you work at it. Love You…G

  2. Lindsay @ The Lean Green Bean

    LOVE that advice from your mom. i wish more people thought about that…you hope it never happens but are prepared if it does. same reason goes for why i still have my own bank account and savings account along with a shared one and my hubby and i have been married over 3 years.
    Lindsay @ The Lean Green Bean recently posted..WIAW: Good, Better, Best

    1. Heather Post author

      it’s very good advice.
      [that i am so thankful i took the first time i lived with a boy, even though the situation was A LOT different]

      mom’s are so smart!

  3. Kelly @foodiefresh

    I am so guilty of not following through as well. And I totally feel guilty about it, but at the same time I continue to not follow through, despite my guilt.

    You probably already know this, but living with a boy is hard. I’ve been married for over a year and lived with him a year before this and still find it difficult. (Most) girls care about what you think of them, while boys care nothing about what you think of them, so living with a slightly (or very) messy boy can be quite an adjustment. Good luck with that. I keep reminding myself that patience is a virtue…although not something that necessarily comes natural to me. 😉
    Kelly @foodiefresh recently posted..5 Ingredients Stuffed Sweet Potatoes

  4. Liz (Little Bitty Bakes)

    I am a sucker for asterisks in writing. Without fail, as soon as I see an asterisk, I go on a mad search to find that asterisk and find out just WHAT it means! So, now that I know you’ve got a new roomie and an eventual new apt (!) I must go back up and read everything that followed that asterisk….

    OK, now I finished the rest 🙂 I actually think it really reflects how transparent you are in your blogging and life sharing – the fact that you might plan to write about something, and then move on and not get back to sharing whatever you had planned to. Your blog chronicles your life (to a certain extent) and sometimes life gets busy, things change, etc.
    Liz (Little Bitty Bakes) recently posted..Peanut Butter Yogurt Pie

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