I used to be a roommate. To over 30 different people in my life time.
I used to be a big fan of the Lodi High School boys soccer team.
I used to be an employee of Journey’s shoe store.
I used to be a Wisconsinite.
I used to be a collector of buttons.
I used to be the drum major.
I used to be someone’s fiancé; and a bride to be.
I used to be foolish enough to believe I would harvest crops out of my tiny apartment, with the blackest thumb around.
I used to be the best RA of all times. [just ask Kelly]
I used to be a sandwich artist.
I used to be a Louisiana College Wildcat and an English major.
And before that, I was an Edgewood College Eagle and an Early Education Exceptional Needs major.
I used to be obese.
I used to be a youth pastor.
I used to be involved in theater.
I used to be extremely lonely in New York. [Then I met some local blends.]
All these things I used to be, all the titles I’ve held, the jobs I’ve had, the relationships I’ve harvested, and the challenges I’ve faced, all of this and so much more, is part of my story. All of this and so much more has helped to shape me into the Heather I am today, and the Heather I will continue to become tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that, too.
There are things I will always be: a daughter, a sister, a friend. A woman, a writer, a life romantic.
There are things I will probably always be: crafty, less funny than I think I am, and a bit of a control freak. A horrible speller, one who types quickly, and a lover of Madison.
These “always” things, and “probably always” things, these too are a part of my story. Just as the things I’ve yet to become and still lay ahead in my future are a part of it too.
As I continue to gain new definitions these days, [runner, girlfriend, public speaker..] I continue to reflect on where I’ve been, what I’ve done, and how I’ve gotten to be where I am today. In this place of newness, that will eventually become oldness. I also look ahead to the future and dream about the titles I hope to have one day, the things I hope to be called, the accomplishments I want to reach.
It’s easy to look back and “remember when,” thinking about all you’ve done and wishing yourself able to revisit the good memories of your past. It’s easy to look ahead and hold discouragement that you’ll never reach the places, the goals, the titles, the definitions you’ve longed after for so long.
The hardest part is being able to look in the mirror and acknowledge that the only title that truly matters is “me.” All encompassing, complete and whole – me. Past, present, and future. No matter where I’ve been or where I am going: I am enough. [and you are too.]