My boss often reminds me that I’m the face and voice of our division.
When you walk in our office door, I’m the first one you see.
When you call, my voice is the one greeting you 9 times out of 10.
It’s important that I represent our business well, and I try to do my best in nurturing a kind, welcoming, professional yet fun atmosphere.
Sometimes, my “trying to do my best” turns into “hanging on by a thread.” I lose all ambition in kindness, and find myself not quite able to even TRY to be nice.
I get a lot of feedback from readers telling me that I’m encouraging, and welcoming, and friendly. I want to say THANK YOU! I also want to tell you that although I try to make kindness a priority each and every day, it’s not always as easy as it may seem.
Sometimes I’m grumpy. Sometimes I’m impatient. Sometimes I’m short. Most unfortunately, sometimes, I’m ruder than I should be. At these times I need help to find the kindness again, and thankfully overtime I have found what works best for me to find it as quickly as possible.
1. Remember that every person you meet – in person, over email, on the phone – every person you correspond with in any form, is valuable to this world. I am no better than he/she is, and I definitely shouldn’t treat this person any less than I would want to be treated myself.
2. Become familiar with your own warning signs, and prepare accordingly. When I am feeling the start of an illness, confused by a difficult task, or overwhelmed by an entire list of tasks, I start to retreat from “friendly” and find myself wishing I could do my work in a hide-away office. It’s important for me to recognize the start of these feelings (exhaustion, frustrated, anxious) to prevent a bad attitude from creeping up on me.
The first step is recognizing which emotions/experiences leave you feeling less than kind. The second is being in tune with yourself enough to recognize these as soon as possible.
3. Find a healthy venting pool of friends who don’t cultivate negativity, but instead, push you to bright side. I have a trio of friends who let me vent when needed, but cut me off when I’m getting ridiculous. I love these ladies who allow me to be whiney for approximately 30 seconds, and then tell me to get over it.
4. It has taken me well over 20 years to understand this, but the ability to ask for help is something I wish upon everyone. I admit that this isn’t always easy.
When I notice I am frustrated and on the verge of (or heaven forbid, past the point of) rudeness, I take a step back, examine WHY I am being such a drag, and find a way to make a change. If a project is frustrating because I am not confident in my understanding of it, I will ask a knowledgeable co-worker for a few minutes of their time to help me get on the right page.
5. Leave yourself a clue reminding the importance of kindness. Visual reminders can work wonders. There have been times I’ve left a smiley faced post-it on the phone receiver, to enforce smiling before speaking. There have also been seasons of my life where I wore a pink string around my wrist as a symbol to myself to spread joy, even when it was difficult.
6. Surround your workplace, and life, with that which brings you cheer. These good mood boosters are kindness cultivators. At my desk I keep a beautiful photo of my best friend’s daughter, Annabelle, a brightly colored rubber-band ball, and motivational quotes I’ve found along the way. You can almost always fine me listening to fabulous 90’s music on the radio and drinking a mug of delicious tea. For me, these ingredients are the recipe for a kind Heather.
7. Everything your mother ever told you when you’re stressed out as a child is the key to finding your center and bringing yourself to a happy, friendly place when you are stressed. You’ve probably heard suggestions throughout your life to take a walk, get some air, try a few deep breaths, maybe a bite of dark chocolate, or a mug of tea. Compliment someone, and say thank you to someone else. Mother’s know best, right?
8. Don’t be too proud to apologize, but don’t beat yourself up over it, either. A simple – “I’m sorry I was short with you” to the co-worker you snubbed an hour ago will go a long way for the both of you, and your working environment. Don’t spend any additional time worrying about what they are thinking after the fact – just keep your head high, and move on.
9. Did each and every one of these tricks fail? Call your best friend, stat, and schedule happy hour at the local bar or ice cream shop. There – doesn’t that feel better?
Love this post, Heather! You are so kind and generous and it’s normal to grumpy some days
It happens! Thanks for being wonderful! I hope you have a fabulous Tuesday 
Colleen @ The Lunchbox Diaries recently posted..Weekend Wrap Up
Your #3 really resonated with me. Sometimes people stew in their own misery sauce for so long it really does take honest friends to give you a good reality slap sometimes.
I know I get super pissy when I have a bad morning, running late and getting stuck behind slow drivers and nothing going right … really send me into spiral of frustration. I feel that way this morning but it will pass as soon as I have a big piece of chocolate.
C… recently posted..Dogs and Some People
Great post, great way to start off the morning for me! It’s like you were right here saying so what if you didn’t sleep well last night, there are others out there who feel the same. Look how wonderful life can be. Every person out there has a story. Every person out there deserves to be treated nice.
You are so so right. I mean, I can’t even begin to count how many times I have encountered someone on the phone or at a customer service counter or somewhere else in my life when I was having a not so great day, and just their smile, kind word, or simple act of kindness has changed my day completely! I can do that too!
It doesn’t take much to change someone’s day. YOU, Heather, have changed my day. Thank you so much!
Reen recently posted..System Rebooted – Ready to Go!
Such a great post! Kindness is SO important, but we all definitely have our moody moments. Mine are pretty predictable (ahem, monthly) and I’m trying better to identify the warning signs before I let my grumpiness affect others (mostly my husband because it’s easier to let your bad mood rub off on those you love). It’s a challenge to coach yourself out of those little ruts, but so much better to do something about it immediately and not let the negativity spoil your (or others’) day (or week!). Thanks for the helpful tips!
great, great tips. I’m the same thing in my office and I have a hard time remembering that some days.
Great tips, Heather. The other day you mentioned that you were trying to use a “filter of kindness” (or something along those lines). I think that is fantastic and something that we should all strive for.
Katie H recently posted..Kauai! Part 1
I love that you put it out there that everyone (even the nicest, most easy going people) get in bad moods and can be a little rude to people. I definitely experience this at work, and its usually when I’m overwhelmed or stressed, and I agree that the first step is recognizing it. Then I need to remind myself that this person is not really what’s causing my frustration, yet I am taking some of it out on them, which isn’t fair. Love all of your tips – especially the “apologize and move on” and putting cute pictures on the wall!
This is such great advice, Heather. Such valuable and beautiful advice.
I really need to work on asking for help when I should. It’s maybe the hardest thing for me to do, and I know that so much of my anxiety/grumpiness/resentment could be solved if I just didn’t feel like I had to be superwoman every.darn.day. Thanks for the loving reminders to radiate positivity
Andrea @ CanYouStayForDinner.com recently posted..Hunger Challenge- Day 1 Review
I love being kind to people it makes me feel good! Being rude to people sometimes feels good, but more often I feel ugly!
Heather, this is such a great post on an unexpected topic! I think everyone (definitely myself included!) can use these reminders from time to time. Thanks for posting!
Michelle @ Living Learning Earning recently posted..Making Me Happy Monday
Being your cheeriest self is really tough, especially if you’re stressed or the other person is stressed as well. I always try to think to myself, “Who knows what’s going on in this person’s life.” It always gives me a different perspective!
Alexa @ Simple Eats recently posted..Friday Favorites
You are on a roll with excellent posts today. I maybe/kind of needed this this week.
Kate recently posted..the story
I love this post…. Too often I find myself frustrated with my students and I know I don’t come off as kind as I would like when I feel that way. Recognizing before I get to that point and allowing myself time to destress is SO important!
Alyssa @ fit and fun in third recently posted..W.I.A.W: I need your help.