I am tired. but, I carry on.
I remember that the world does not revolve around me. even though, at times, I wish it did. even though, these times, are often.
I continue to remember conversations I could have sworn were dreams. however, they truly took place and I am just forgetful.
I make excuses. one after another, after another. all day long.
Sometimes making healthy decisions is easier than other times.
Sometimes it takes little convincing to choose steamed veggies over French fries.
Sometimes fitting in 10 minutes of strength training before work is effortless.
Sometimes I’d rather read than watch TV, I drink enough water to keep me well hydrated, and speak kind words to others.
But other times, it’s a struggle. Other days, it’s ALL a struggle. But I can’t help but think that the struggle is what makes the journey worth it; that the struggle itself is a component to health.
Today is a struggle.
Today I am fighting the urge to be whiney. And crass. And dare I say bitchy.
I chose sleep over productivity, and yet I still feel far too behind on both.
I am sipping caffeine through a straw, yet I wish it could be pumped in with an IV.
Today I know that the healthiest decision I’ve made in 2010 is cutting my ex out of my life, for my healing, for my growth; yet this morning, I felt myself miss him. I felt myself wonder about contacting him. I felt myself thinking about him for a second longer than I felt comfortable.
Today I forgot my Greek yogurt on the kitchen counter of my apartment.
So instead, I made a bagel thin with sun-gold tomato preserves and cheddar cheese. Correction, then I burnt a bagel thin.
So instead, I ate a piece of chocolate after scraping off the charred sesame seeds.
Today is a struggle. But I choose to remember.
I remember that days of struggle don’t have to be the worst days. They don’t have to be bad days, either. They are just days. And we each have the power to do with these days whatever we see fit.
And today, I see fit, to turn this day around. To embrace the struggle. To make the decisions, with gratitude for the ability to decide. To admit that struggle makes us stronger and that difficulty breads character. To know that days of struggle make days of ease that much sweeter. I embrace today -no matter if I make healthy decisions or less healthy decisions, I will not be swayed to feel poorly about the outcome of today. Today is my day. And your day, too. EMBRACE IT.