Let’s catch you up, just in case you are new here, or forgot, or may have short term memory loss. A few weeks ago, I took a vacation to Madison. I don’t really call it a vacation, more of a blisscation, because it was so wonderful.
Madison is in Wisconsin, in case you are wondering. It is the best city in the world, if you ask me. It’s also the place I call home, in regards to home being where the heart is and all.
I’m recapping my trip in little parts because I crammed SO MUCH into the 7 days I was in town. So far I’ve told you about:
And now I’m going to tell you about Monday morning, when we went to Savers.
This may not surprise you if you read the recap of The Meshing, or commented on my drinking the bestt water evertr, but Monday morning, when I woke up, I needed coffee, and i needed it badly. I also needed two glasses of water before I even got off of the couch. But after a 30 minute walk to and from an open coffee shop (it was Memorial Day and a few of the closest local places were closed), a good hydration – both in the form of guzzling water and taking a shower, and an informant bringing information of a super sale at Savers, IT WAS ON.
Megan, Kati, Christa and I head to Savers to get our thrift on. Luckily, I had bore witness to one Miss Healthy Ashley find the perfect ensemble at another Madison thrift store just days before, leaving me with an eagerness like never before to find some good treasures to take back to New York with me.
It would seem that my friends were in on the hunt for themselves as well.
I think it’s safe to say we all found a few key pieces to call our own. I spent $7 on 1 purse, 1 belt, 3 t-shirts, a Bucky Badger travel mug, and 2 dishes for bananas. (oh, be intrigued. you are going to love these things once I put on my “food blogger” hat and try to take some photos for you.) Success was mine.
Then it was time to say goodbye to my dear friend, Megan, which of course called for a photo. I’m not too sure why we both look so happy here, as I happen to know that I was quite sad that we had to leave one another.
Megan is one of my favorite people on the planet. She is such a great friend, a brilliant writer, speaker, performer, and thinker. I call her my muse, as when I often find myself the most inspired creatively after conversation or time spent with her. She is one of the most beautiful women I have had the pleasure of knowing, and I am so thankful that we’ve been able to grow in our friendship over the past 15 years. Even though we are many, many miles apart – she understands me unlike most people who are near me often, and I love her completely. I can’t until the next time we are together! Turns out that the phone call of fantastic news we were celebrating a few days prior, leads her to her next adventure in life: working at the same college as my little sister this fall! (don’t get me started on how jealous I am that the two of them will be able to see each other as often as they would like in the coming year.)
I want to be like Megan when I grow up. One of these days, I’m going to make Megan share her brilliance
with you through a THS guest post or two. I think everyone needs to hear what this woman has to say. She is that kind of amazing.
Do you have a friend that you wish you could bottle up and share with others? If I could, I would send a little bit of Meg to each of you. Who in your life understands you on levels unlike others? Do you have a person who inspires you to do more, be more, and create more deeply?
An email to all of my friends written on a Monday morning:
Haven’t touched based with you in a while, and so I thought I would send you one of my popular rambling, not really talking about anything in particular emails. (with lots of side notes) I know you are excited.
This weekend, I somehow managed to not be online a whole bunch, which some may say is a miracle.
By ‘somehow managed’ I suppose what I really mean is that I kept myself occupied with a fairly decent sized to-do list and didn’t have my computer up and running the entire time. I didn’t visit the coffee shop once, even though when I sketched out my weekend on Thursday evening, I had planned on going both Saturday and Sunday evenings, to read lots of blogs, to write lots of blogs, to watch some movies on my Netflix instant queue, and respond to 135 emails. Or something.
Instead, I found myself in my 85 degree apartment much of the weekend. a busy little bee crossing things off my list and feeling accomplished.
Isn’t accomplished one of the best feelings? I truly believe that nothing motivates me more than the linger of just having crossed something daunting off my list. I’m not one who stops to celebrate a completion of task with a break or pause or space in time; I’m the girl that feels fueled to reorganize all of her kitchen cabinets after she sorted all of her laundry, after she went through her entire closet (making a goodwill pile as high as Mt. Rushmore), after she cleans out her fridge, after she restructures the organization of her gift wrapping, after she puts all her high school photos in albums, after she matches socks for two hours.
Speaking of, I am no longer allowed to purchase the following:
-Tissue paper, no matter how adorable or how inexpensive
-Journeys socks, as I have an ENTIRE large dresser drawer overflowth of Journeys socks alone
-Sauce/Marinades, until my fridge can properly hold more produce than condiment
-Items of clothing I feel “okay” about, if I don’t love it, it’s not coming home with me- even if it would cost me less money than a latte. Even if it would cost me less money than a cup of house coffee.
All these revelations come after the most belated spring cleaning of my life – so belated, in fact, that we’ve surpassed the longest day of the year, and now I must refer to my weekend as Cleanathon 2010. (Don’t you worry, Organize-a-polluza, is still on the books for this fall.)
You may think that Cleanathon 2010 was a drag of a weekend, but it was actually a weekend full of entertainment. I watched the entire season six of Entourage, along with a Criminal Minds marathon, Classics such as Beetlejuice & Ghostbusters (can you IMAGINE that hybrid of a movie? Someone should get on that) and some good quality (ahem.) E & Bravo reality shows. Also managed to listen to several hours of podcasts while going on a few easy runs and one 7 mile hike. Have you seen anything good lately? I’ve been adding movies to my queue like it’s going out of style!
I would like to say that Cleanathon 2010 appeared out of a desire to cleanse and be cleansed, but truthfully, my family will be in town in just a few short days, and their pending arrival did inspire a bit of a tidying. I am SUPER excited for the weekend with them. The last time the family came up, in September, my little sister had to work and this is the first time she will be coming to the area. Also, my parents rented a lake house about an hour away from where I live and I’m looking forward to a weekend full of family fun and R&R with the four people I love most in the world. Also pretty excited for the Firecracker 4 – a four mile race in Saratoga that I will be running with both of my siblings – Melissa who is 23, and Robby who is soon to be 18 – which is scary in itself. (Seriously – WHEN did that happen?) We are also going to see Chicago and The Doobie Brothers, along with my boss Jen and her husband Jeff, who I adore. They are kind of my like my local-extended family and I am excited for them to get to know my parents and vice versa. Should be pretty epic.
Not sure what else is on the plans for the weekend, other than my planning on drinking some red wine, and hopefully convincing my family to play some board games. (Seriously, I need to find some more local friends that will want to come over for random game nights and not mind my sometimes overly-competitive nature.) And, of course, lots of laughter is in the works as well, I’m sure.
I hope that you can come and visit soon. Seriously – pick a weekend and let me know when you want to experience the little village I call (temporary)home. I may not have couch yet (after a year of living in this apartment: oops), but I do have an air mattress! And I promise I won’t make you run any races with me while you’re here….I mean…unless you want to, of course.
What about you? How was your weekend? Do anything fun? Clean anything, sort anything, organize anything? Have any major revelations?
Love you lots and miss you masses!
xoxoxo
heath
p.s. did you hear that Joe (you remember, Joe Detmer, one of my very best friends from Lodi, right?) got third place in the decathlon at the US Track & Field national championships this weekend? I just have to share the good news – I’m a proud friend, what can I say? Hooray, Joe! (read this great article for more )
Yoga has always been something that I wanted to do…one day. It’s something I imagined myself really enjoying…one day. Something I could practice regularly and grow through…one day.
I’ve been one daying for far too long.
When I was 21, in a motion to become more “healthy and sound,” I bought a yoga DVD from Target. When I returned home, I eagerly put the DVD in and stood in front of the television in my bedroom, decked out in my favorite pieces from my work out wardrobe. Ready to make a change and ready to try something new. I tried going through the poses with the hollywoodfied instructor one time. It wasn’t easy for me to stay calm and focused on my body, my breathing, and what I was supposed to be doing. I probably made it in about seven minutes before removing the DVD, feeling defeated and unqualified for this popular practice everyone else seemed to love.
I have no idea where the DVD is now.
When I first started my current job, I looked up some “Office Yoga” poses. Ways to breathe and form my body when things got stressful. I followed what the piece of paper printed out in front of me said. I tried. This worked about two times in the last two years. Then I decided that lying on the floor under my desk was a much better way to calm myself when I got stressed. This has worked about two hundred times in the last two years.
Since I’ve started living one healthy decision at a time, I’ve been inclined to try again.
A few months ago, after the ringing in of the new year and a declaration of my fabulous self, I decided to try a short morning yoga routine via YouTube. On my little netbook, on my living room floor, with the volume up as loud as it will go and yet it still not being loud enough. Not knowing the poses, I spent a lot of time moving my head out of whatever pose I was “doing” and looking at the screen. It felt good, but it never felt right. It felt like something I should try again, but I never have. It’s bookmarked. Maybe one day I will get there.
I’ve downloaded 3 Yoga Podcasts from Yoga Download. I’ve started the “Yoga for Runners” podcast about 17 times. Each time I get discouraged by the third pose because it’s hard for me to follow along and have to keep checking a pose guide, and I never feel like I’m doing it “right.” I know that this will get easier if I do it more often, but I also know that being frustrated by yoga is the opposite affect that should be taking place. So it remains on my list of things to do; “Master Yoga for Runners.” Or at least “Get to the forth pose on Yoga for Runners.” Ahem.
This winter I joined a gym and did a class challenge. I tried to take each class at least once. I went to one yoga class. It was just yoga – not hot yoga, not advanced yoga (clearly), not power yoga – just yoga. It was okay. I felt a bit outside of my body and not in a good way, necessarily. I felt like I couldn’t control my motions and that I was failing. My mind was wandering. I didn’t want to do yoga again. I didn’t want to feel that way again. I didn’t go back to yoga.
Earlier this week, I read Healthy Ashley’s declaration of 30 days of Yoga on her blog. I thought, “I will just do 10 minutes of child’s pose every night for 30 days. It will cleanse me and restore me.” I kind of thought of it as a joke. As if my dear friend Ashley would be doing some crazy Yoga poses I didn’t even know existed for 10 minutes, stretching and twisting and becoming one with the air. I pictured her defying gravity and reaching new levels of self. Of course, I would be rolled in a ball and on my living room floor, allowing myself to fall asleep.
I told her I was going to do it. I was going to do 10 minutes of child’s pose every night. I tweeted about it. I tried to make it into a point and laugh at myself joke. “Lazy Girl commits to napping via yoga every day for 30 days.” Hardy har har. “Wordy, Healthy Living blogger demonstrates sit-in on the floor of her own living room.” Or something.
The thing about point and laugh at myself jokes is that they often have a reverse effect.
There is this list in an old journal that reads “Reasons I will never get married.” The list is fairly long, and was written while I was in college. At my bachelorette weekend, my high school best friend turned Matron of Honor, Danielle, read the list aloud while other bridesmaids, including my sister, along with my mother, helped me to put together centerpieces for the reception tables. I was pointing and laughing at myself for such a silly list I wrote at such a cynical, bitter time in my life. We were all pointing and laughing at me, at the list, at youth.
Now I point and laugh at THAT girl. The one who was embarrassed by the list because she thought, “oh! how clearly foolish she must have been when she was younger.” I laughed at how I was trying to be so independent and un-settle-down-able. I laughed at how WRONG she was. Or was she?
When I pointed and laughed at myself for doing 10 minutes of “nap time yoga” each day, I didn’t realize how much I would NEED it. Because of the girls I pointed and laughed at. Because of the cynical list writer, and the bride. Both of whom, in hindsight, were just a scared woman learning to understand herself better, and trying to define herself in one way or another. Because of this, I need it.
As I start to write about and sort through the emotions of the last seven years I need it. I need it as I often find myself reliving some of the goodness- the memories of laughter, and love, and admiration. The accolade and the successes I found in various areas.
I need it as I relive some of the hard times. The painful situations I found myself in several years ago that for so long I pushed to the back of brain in order to move forward, trying to get past any wrong doings either done by me or to me. I need it as I finally take the time to sort through things I’ve avoided working through for years.
I need it as I start to understand myself better – who I was then, and who I am now- and the similarities and differences between the two girls I pointed and laughed at not that long ago. Along with the similarities and differences between those girls and who I am now.
After I declared 10 minutes of “lazy girl yoga” each day for 30 days, I started doing a bit more reading about yoga. I visited yogajournal.com and yogadownload.com and a few specific blogs who share their yoga journeys. I found myself becoming a bit more interested. And becoming a bit more intrigued, realizing that this may be something I need. Something to learn more about, in order to learn more about myself.
The last two nights I’ve done restorative poses. Child-Corpse-Ragdoll on Wednesday for 20 minutes. And 30 minutes of corpse Thursday night, before bed. It was like a pre-bedtime body nap. I sat on my living room floor, following the steps from yogajournal.com to get into the pose. I had to reread the paper several times to assure I was moving my body in the right way, in order to not move my body in the wrong way. It was awkward, but I kept on. I don’t want to just do these poses the way I would if I looked at a photo of someone else doing the poses. I want instruction. I want to lengthen my spine, and “narrow my hip points toward my navel” and “release the front of my shoulders” as necessary.
I don’t want to do Yoga for the sake of doing Yoga, you know? I don’t want to do yoga because everyone else is doing it. I don’t want to do yoga because it’s trendy and I recently saw an episode where Carrie and Samantha chat from mat to mat. I don’t want to do yoga because I “should” do yoga. I don’t want to do yoga because I really like yoga pants, even though I do REALLY like yoga pants. I want to do yoga to get something out of it: I want to do yoga with purpose. Several purposes. Probably even a few purposes I don’t even realize yet.
This morning I tried one sun salutation. Just one. Not rushed, but not slowed. Mountain to forward fold to plank to four limbed staff to upward dog to downward dog to mountain, again. It was awkward. It felt weird. I felt like if I was smaller, if I was fitter, it would be easier; but I know that’s not necessarily true. I know that if I keep seeking this out, then it will be easier. If I keep trying and learning and trying again, then it will be easier. If I keep going, keep growing, it will become easier. If I continue to accept myself for who I was before, who I am now, and who I am becoming, it will become easier.
Tonight, I will do one more pose. I will read over the instruction and tune into my body. I will find my center. I will quiet myself. I will lengthen and narrow and release. I will learn, without frustration and without fear, without definition. Forward. Namaste.
