I’m not exactly sure how it happened.
When the break up took place, the blogging stopped, and I took a few months to sit back and evaluate.
I remember googling “broken engagement” and “cancelling a wedding” and “ex-fiancé”. I was desperately searching for a check list of what I was suppose to do now. Not just sending out cancellation post-cards, and contacting vendors- but what was I suppose to be doing to take away the pain of feeling so humiliated, so rejected. I wasn’t just looking for a resource of what steps to take next, but I was on the hunt for bloggers. I was looking for blog posts from the poor unfortunate soul who had already done this. I was seeking someone whom I could relate to, who had been there and who had lived to tell about it. I was looking for someone to prove that I wasn’t completely crazy, or alone, or the only person in real life that has ever felt “this way”. Because at the time it seemed like the only people with broken engagements and called off weddings were on screen and hidden in lyrics and I just was not going to be able to handle that being the case.
I found one. One post, by one woman, from years ago which discussed her broken engagement. I read her story, I felt connected. I read more of her story and more until I realized that the only thing that had come of my reading her blog history for several days, was my wishing it was four years down the road and I would be moving on and possibly reaching the point to where I could declare myself “over it” all.
I refused to publish anything right away. Writing has always been an outlet for me and while I never stopped writing during the weeks immediately following the break up [my personal journals are FILLED], I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t share anything with the general public until after the non-wedding day had passed. But I knew eventually I would. I had been blogging for almost a decade. Eventually I would blog again, and I had to take some time to decide what I would blog about.
One thing I knew for sure was that I had to be open and honest about the emotions I was facing after the broken engagement. I knew that it would be a kind of self-therapy for myself, but I also hoped that on some level, someday, what I wrote might benefit someone else. Because I can’t be the only girl at work the day after, faking strength, trying to make it through each answered phone call without crying, googling “broken engagement what’s next” on her lunch break. I just can’t be.
So, the weekend of the non-wedding, the one thing I knew for sure that I wanted to do was start a new “after the fact” blog. And so I did.
With that first post, I stated that I wanted to allow my blogging to let you
…Into my quest for remembering who I am on my own, evaluating who I had become in the relationship, and defining how I can become the best me possible.
I’m not exactly sure how it happened.
At the time, I had already started running. I was already eating healthier than I ever have in my life. I was already reading a handful of blogs by people who chronicled their daily eats and workouts. I was already working on becoming the very best version of myself, nutrition and fitness wise, at least.
I was trying to create something honest, and genuine. I was never really planning on becoming a part of any community. I just planned on writing about my heart and my emotions and my life. It didn’t take long for me the realize that my life was about making healthy decisions and that if I was going to open up on the blog, I was going to be sharing the nutrition and fitness aspects as well. And somewhere along the way, people started reading and responding. In turn, I started reading and responding. Blog comments, and responses, and twitter conversations, and email chains.
I guess that’s how it happened.
I have found myself in the “healthy living blog” community. I talk to a few healthy living bloggers on just about a daily basis. I’m attending a conference next month titled Fitbloggin. Although I write about running, and my weight loss, and gym time, and trading up for more nutritious ingredients, my blog is very different than the majority of “healthy living blogs” out there. I tend to be a bit more wordy and talk about some taboo type subjects regarding my past relationship, my past professions, my past failures, and my current state of “being a mess”. But I try to do so fairly. & truthfully. & reasonably. & rationally. I do this because I believe that when I share these segments of myself, even (and especially) when it makes me feel completely vulnerable, I am making a healthy decision for my life; I am taking a step in healthy living.
I think it all stems from my definition of healthy-living. To me, healthy living is not only about nutrition and fitness. It’s more than what you are eating and what kind of exercise you are doing each week. Healthy living is more about healing, and having a healthy soul. Facing fears and becoming a stronger person. Listening to your heart and knowing how to take advice and ask for help when needed. Helping others and telling the truth, even and especially when its hard. Being genuine in your actions and open to others’ opinions. Its about finding out what makes me, me and aiding people in realizing how special they are. Its about following my giftings and knowing the difference between selfishness and anger. Its about learning and gaining self worth. Struggling to do these for mentioned things and questioning, and doubting, and yet still having hope and faith enough to move forward. Its all these things and more. These are the things make Then Heather Said a healthy living blog.
These are the reasons I wanted to start the guest post series, the More Than Series; because healthy living is more than nutrition and fitness. So much more.
The understatement of the year would be to say I am ecstatic about the More Than Series. This series is going to be FILLED with guest posts from a wide variety of view points- not only from other bloggers, but from friends, family, and possibly even some strangers along the way too. These brilliant writers are willing to let us in as they share stories of making healthy decisions in their own lives and fresh perspective on healthy living beyond nutrition and fitness. I am beyond honored to be working with such intelligent, creative, and talented people on this project.
*if you’d like to write one a guest post for the More Than Series, please drop me an email at thenheathersaid@gmail.com – I’d love to hear from YOU! [we ALL would]
Yay! I’m honored to work with you! Can’t wait to see what everyone has to share!
Being healthy really is about the soul! It’s holistic and includes everything- not just eating right and exercising regularly, but also being in a good place MENTALLY. Health isn’t about one thing, it’s about being healthy in all aspects of our lives.
I’ve been reading some of your older posts- you have so much strength.
Health Living is More Than…
You said it. You put into words why it is that I can consider myself a healthy living blogger – because my quest is to try and honor and respect myself. I’m trying to learn how to listen to myself, how to live a healthy life – healthy not just about food or exercise, but about thoughts, and how we view ourselves, and how we interact with the world.
I love this post. It brought tears to my eyes. I can’t quite express in words what all touched me but the “more than” paragraph is just exquisite. Thank you for putting that idea into words. I’m glad you’re a part of this community.
LOVE this idea. I just sent you an email.
I’m beyond honored to be abole to contribute to this amazing series.
Healthy living is so much more than what we put into our bodies and I’m glad your talking about that.
Awesome post. I’m honored to be one of the guest bloggers!
Really an excellent idea! The entire paragraph about what ‘healthy living’ is to you really got me thinking about what it is to me. I really admire you being able to put yourself out there for literally anyone in the world to see. Although I’m pretty sure ‘putting yourself out there’ for family and friends may be even harder (for me anyway). While I’m new to the blog world, I absolutely LOVE the people I’ve “met,” so I definitely can relate to what you said about that. I’m so excited to be a part of this!
Liv – i totally agree that sometimes putting myself out there for my family and friends to read is harder than for the “whole world wide web” of strangers and blends! (great discussion going on about this in the comments section of THIS post: http://thenheathersaid.com/2010/02/20/more-than-kat-from-lfk/ )
when i first started blogging again after the broken engagement, i decided that i was going to post links on my facebook page for several reasons. I wanted the people in my life, past and present, to have access to what I was writing: one of the main reasons is that it keeps me accountable to display my own emotions/thoughts/feelings/happenings and not play the BLAME game or showcase anger and other negetive feelings about peopel when I allow myself to be offended or get my feelings hurt.
This has not always been easy.
I have published several posts while HOLDING MY BREATH for the moment my mother reads them. I have published several posts while waiting to hear a response from a few best friends of mine who are really protective and loving and I thought they may not like the way I did something. And did i mention that Today my boss confessed to me that she read my blog and knows about my office crush. NIIIIIIIICE.
But it has been SO REWARDING to be open and honest on the blog – people have writen many emails and comments about how relatable some of the posts are – especially the ones where I am vulnerable and examine my motives/intentions/heart/emotions with each word for the world to see. I happen to think that our greatest quest in life is the search for finding someone to relate to, of building our own sense of communities- and if I can help someone feel like they aren’t alone, then being scared of what my Mom will say or wondering how my former classmates are judging me is well worth it.
and to go further, sharing this blog on my facebook statuses and such has been SO rewarding. So many peopel I have lost touch with from high school and college have reached out to me as well; sharing that they relate, that they enjoy reading, and just sparking that connection again (thank you facebook stalking).
i guess what im trying to say, is that you ever reach the point where you are debating sharing with someone/a group of people in your life, dont forget that good can come from your vulnerability.
(that being said, ive also gotten a few mean emails too…but the many good ones DEFINITELY outweigh the few bad ones i’ve received)
[...] you haven’t already, I recommend that you go and read Heather’s More Than post. Healthy Living is More Than… it’s more than healthy eating and exercise – [...]
I am totally loving this idea!! I, for one, have ALWAYS felt that my ‘healthy living’ consisted of so much more than just my diet and exercise program. In my blog I too write about many aspects of my life. I talk about my children, my husband, my job (a little) and many other things. I have said it before and will say it again “I am an open book. Secrets rot the soul” and if my ‘spilling my guts’ can help or please or entertain even one person than I know that it wasn’t in vain. I try to live by this motto everyday “World Peace Begins With Me!!” There isn’t much healthier than that…at least I don’t think.
Keep it up girl and I’ll be sending you an email!
Can’t wait to see the series come to life..and to contribute!
I want you to know that I poured myself a big cup of coffee and lit some candles before settling into this post. I read and re-read it. To say that I drank – no gulped – up your words would not be giving you enough credit. This is beautifully written. I truly enjoy getting to know another little piece of you and your story. I went back and read the first post – beautiful, too. You’ve got quite a talent, my friend. And for the record, the “taboo type subjects” are my favorite. They add some spice (and humanity) to a blog.
This series is wonderful and vulnerable and yes, healthy. I am looking forward to expanding my “healthy living blog” community and participating.
you are too kind. i adore you.
This post is incredible. I didn’t realize that’s how you started blogging! Either way, I am so glad you are here and I love every post.
And…Your nominating me touched my heart. My gosh I love you.
so far, every post has been a 10, my love.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo.
I agree! Thanks, dear. I’m loving how REFRESHING this series has started out! Everyone sharing their own healthy living stories and points of view beyond “oats and veggies” is what one twitter friend shared! Its true- I love to see oat combinations as much as the next gal, but I LOVE the conversations going on in the comment sections between blends and readers. So lovely!!!
Your posts are amazing. I find myself reading them and not being able to comment right away. I think I’ve come back to this post like 5 times so far and I still don’t really have an insightful comment to contribute.
Healthy living means different things to everyone, but it really does encompass more than just one aspect of your life. I was struck with this portion of the post:
“Healthy living is more about healing, and having a healthy soul. Facing fears and becoming a stronger person. Listening to your heart and knowing how to take advice and ask for help when needed”
I feel like I need to print that off and remind myself of that every day. It’s not just what I ate that day, or how long I exercised. It’s about taking risks, not giving into fears, building yourself into the best you can be. It’s always going to be an evolving process… what is best for me now might not be the best in 2 years, but I can always strive to put my best efforts into everything I do.
Thanks for posting this
I have writen this phrase (or something similiar to it) in my journals about a billion times since I first came across the idea the year I turned 20-
Is the moment we stop growing, the moment we start to die?
I never want to forget that the best part about living, is that we have the ability to change, constantly. How refreshing!
I came to your blog off a series of clicks through the FitBloggin conference site (yay, i’m going too!) and I’m immediately hooked. Too many of the “healthy living” blogs out there focus solely on food and programs and numbers. I think it’s so important to look at the root cause of the problem. Most of us understand how to lose weight and maintain it….it’s the emotional side that perpetuates the problem. I definitely can relate to you in so many ways! Thanks for coming back to blogging!! <3
HOORAY Fitbloggin!
thank you for your kind words! Perhaps you want to write a guest post as well? email me at thenheathersaid@gmail.com if you are interested!
[...] ago, Heather at Then Heather Said asked me if I’d be willing to contribute a post to her More Than Series, a collection of blog posts to examine healthy living as being more than fitness and [...]
[...] Today I want to share with you a guest post I did for Heather at Then Heather Said as part of her More Than series. Please make sure you check out other posts in the series as well as Heather’s posts. [...]
[...] Than: Kelsey of Kelsey Toney 4 03 2010 When Heather asked me to expound upon “healthy living” I didn’t have to think about it long. Our blogs are saturated with oats and spinach, tempo [...]
[...] Hi there! My name is Sara (ActiveGal) and Heather asked me to talk about something relating to healthy living (outside of exercise and good eats). I thought and thought over my topic, and finally it came to me: [...]
[...] thing, but I was excited when Heather invited even non-bloggers like myself to participate in her More Than series. (and what a great series it has been so [...]
[...] Than: Maria of RFM 16 03 2010 I’ve been reading every one of the Guest Posts in the More Than Series since Heather started it and the wheels in my head have been turning. What is Healthy Living to [...]
[...] 16 03 2010 I’ve been going over and over in my head about what to write for this “More Than” series for several weeks now. I volunteered to write a guest post for the series on a bit of a whim, only [...]
[...] I only recently began reading Heather’s blog; in fact, I tuned in because I was linked to the More Than series from another healthy living blog I follow. I was instantly hooked because the point being made with [...]
[...] 4 03 2010 *I spoke to my mother on the phone this week. She asked me if I planned the More Than series to be occurring now because work is so crazy busy. I had to admit, nope, that was not my plan- [...]
[...] About Me 21 03 2010 In the spirit of the More Than Series, I want to share to a few things. [Reminder: Healthy living is more than nutrition & fitness.] [...]
[...] Through the combination of insane workouts and high levels of work & personal stress, I continued to lose weight. In October 2009, I hit my lowest weight of 127lbs. I always said that my goal wasn’t to be a size 4, yet there it was on the tag of the new pants. My body had reached what many people consider to be perfection, but it was telling me otherwise. The stress from work caused high anxiety levels which developed into insomnia. The poor sleeping patterns meant I had no energy and was forced to take a hiatus from working out. I couldn’t even make it through a yoga class without looking like I barely survived a war. The last straw was when my hair stylist told me my hair was significantly thinner since my last appointment. For an Italian/Slovak girl, it was another wake up call – just as important as the first. I was finally discovered it was time to focus on my health and happiness. I came to realize the exact message that Heather is trying to spread with this series: [...]
[...] Through the combination of insane workouts and high levels of work & personal stress, I continued to lose weight. In October 2009, I hit my lowest weight of 127lbs. I always said that my goal wasn’t to be a size 4, yet there it was on the tag of the new pants. My body had reached what many people consider to be perfection, but it was telling me otherwise. The stress from work caused high anxiety levels which developed into insomnia. The poor sleeping patterns meant I had no energy and was forced to take a hiatus from working out. I couldn’t even make it through a yoga class without looking like I barely survived a war. The last straw was when my hair stylist told me my hair was significantly thinner since my last appointment. For an Italian/Slovak girl, it was another wake up call – just as important as the first. I was finally discovered it was time to focus on my health and happiness. I came to realize the exact message that Heather is trying to spread with this series: [...]
[...] started a guest post series on my blog called the More Than series, asking bloggers and readers alike to share a part of them that moves beyond food and exercise. [...]
[...] your readers, second. I share my struggles in hope that they may help someone along the way. As I explained here the whole reason I started THS was because I hoped that on some level, someday, what I wrote might [...]
[...] [Not familiar with all this “More Than” business? Check out the details of the More Than Series. [...]
[...] is more than nutrition and fitness. I encourage you to take a moment to read a bit about the More Than series. [...]
[...] More Than: Maria of CTN July 9, 2010 by thenheathersaid Hello, Then Heather Said readers! I’m Maria and I blog about healthy living, weight loss, and life as an English teacher in Japan at Chasing the Now. I’m thankful to have this opportunity to put my own spin on Heather’s More Than series. [...]
[...] I’ve loved being able to follow Heather on her journey towards healthy living. It’s definitely an inspiration; it makes me want to improve things in my own life! However, since a lot of it her journey has been about, you know, the physical aspects of being healthy – the running, the food choices, etc. – I’ve felt a little out of place reading over all these things. I wouldn’t say I’m unhealthy in terms of those things, but I could definitely stand to better some things. That being said, I’ve been super psyched about this More Than series. [...]
[...] the world it will help motivate myself and others to live the best life possible! When I read Heather’s post about her “More Than” series I got so excited! There are so many things that I’m beginning to discover on my road to [...]
[...] by thenheathersaid While Heather is busy having the time of her life in Chicago, enjoy this More Than Series Guest post by Cynthia of It All [...]
[...] humbled to be sharing a post at Then Heather Said for the More Than Series. I am a relatively new blogger and as I perused the sea of healthy living blogs several [...]
[...] bloggers and readers who want to share their stories! If you are interested in writing a More Than Series post for THS, please email Heather at thenheathersaid@gmail.com from → More Than Series [...]
[...] self love by thenheathersaid A note from Heather: Today is a two-for Tuesday! Two More Than Series Guest Posts – isn’t that exciting? I asked Tina to write a More Than post about the [...]