The Award for Idiot of 2009 goes to…

After a wonderful Christmas Vacation weekend in Denton with the family, this afternoon I headed back home to the Capital District of New York.  I was flying from DFW to O’Hare for a 40 minute lay-over, followed by a flight back to Albany, schedule to land a few minutes after Midnight.  Perfect timing to get me back home in time to squeeze in six hours of snoozing before heading to the office.

I was sad to leave the family, and as usual, got a bit teary as I was saying goodbye.

 

After taking some family photos and saying goodbye, Dad drove me to the airport.  I was happy to arrive two hours before my scheduled take-off, checked my (beautiful new!) suitcase in, and headed through security. 

After picking up a grande soy toffeenut awake tea latte, I headed toward my gate.  The large departure screens all read that my flight was at gate E4.  When I first arrived at the gate, the screens at the gate read that my flight was at gate E4.  So, clearly, I settled near E4. 

I spent a bit of time falling in blogger-love with Windows Live Writer.  Laura had told me weeks ago that when I get a computer to look into Live writer, and I have heard a few other bloggers speak highly of it as well- but I NEVER could have imagined the wonderfulness that is Windows Live Writer.  So user friendly and easy to execute- and completely perfect for the pure fact that I have dozens of blogs in draft form saved in word.

I moved at least 10 of my drafts into writer as I waited near the gate, and started some detailed writing on a few others.  All seemed well and good as the clock ticked on.

At about ten until six, I shut down my computer and headed to stand with the giant mass of people preparing to board. I was in seating group two, and as I handed my ticket over, the United ticket taker read my seat number aloud as she scanned it, as another counter worker confirmed my seat number and marked it off on her computer screen.

As I worked my way down the hallway, I noticed a few things.  First of all, the plane was TINY.  As in, when I stood outside of the door on the platform, I was LITERARLLY taller than the plane.  Secondly, Everyone that had a rolly-carry-on-suitcase was given a green tag to check their luggage at the door.  The overhead bins were tiny.  I was VERY concerned with getting my large (beautiful red leather) weekender tote into the overhead compartment by itself, let alone with any other flyers’ bags.  I was nervous, and I continued to doubt my bag fitting for several minutes. 

The seat on my ticket read “09-A”, so when I saw an empty overhead compartment near row 6, I stuffed my bag in.  It took a few minutes of shifty and shaking and pushing and tugging, but it finally fit to the point of closing the door.  I continued down the very tiny row of the very tiny plane, and made my way to row 9. 

Imagine my surprise when a very friendly, approachable woman was sitting in seat 09-A.  [by the way twitter friends- remember the tweet about my prayer for a single, attractive, 26+ gentleman in seat 09-B?  this would be her very friendly, approachable son.] We showed one another our tickets and seat assignments and agreed that something was very wrong.  So I made my way to the back of the plane to speak to the flight attendant. [there were still MANY people trying to board this tiny plane, and getting back to the front was simply NOT an option.]

Heather: Hi. There seems to be a little problem.
Flight Attendant: Oh?
Heather: There are two of us with seat 09-A on our ticket.
(GIVE FLIGHT ATTENDANT TICKET- she looks at it, and hands it back to me)
Flight Attendant: Oh, No! Okay- this happens sometimes, lets just wait a few minutes as people board and then we will see if there is an empty seat.

People are boarding the very small plane. I am wearing my big puffy winter coat and carrying a large messenger bag.  The row of the airplane is TINY.  I keep knocking my bag and my ba-donk-a-donk into people. Every empty seat I move into to get out of someone’s way, is the next person in lines seat.  This continues for a few minutes.  The flight attendant asks for my ticket again.  I supply her with the ticket. She looks it over and gives it back to me. 

Heather: Does this happen often?
Flight Attendant: Not really. sometimes, but not too often.
Heather: I was really surprised because two people at the ticket counter verified my seat.  And clearly they had already verified the same seat for someone else, because she was already very much settled when I arrived on the plane. 
Flight Attendant: That is quite odd. Well, let’s see what we can do.

More shuffling. More moving out of people’s way just to be in the way for several people. Poor woman to my right has been hit in the head with my bag at least half a dozen times. I keep apologizing. She [thankfully] doesn’t seem to mind much.

As the last 6 or so people are making their way down the row:

Flight Attendant: ok. let me see that one more time.
Heather: here you are!
Flight Attendant: oh, sweetie………..are you trying to get to Chicago?
[giggling from people all around]
Heather: [beeeeep.] why, yes. Yes, I am.
Flight Attendant: we are going to Denver.
Heather: [blushing] Well, that explains it!  I am so sorry!
Flight Attendant: If you hurry, you may be able to catch them.
Heather: [beeeeep.]

As I try to scurry down the aisle toward the door before it closes, I am playing sardines in a can with the last few people making it onto the plane.  The last guy in the row and I actually EMBRACE in order for me to shimmy past, UNJAM my bag from the overhead compartment and race out of the plane, down the tarmac and back into the gate.

Let me tell you what happens when you come sprinting out of the tarmac just 90 seconds after the ticket counter checked in the last passenger. EVERYONE STARTS YELLING AT YOU. And as they are yelling, they don’t actually want to hear your reply to their questions or your pleas for help.  They just want to ask you repeatedly what you are doing off the plane and go on and on about a security breech.

Funny you mention that security breech, ladies who put me on the WRONG PLANE. Don’t get me wrong- I take all blame for getting on the wrong plane, but seriously? I know I was completely ignorant and foolish- but can we take a step back and just find a solution?

After said ladies explained that they made several announcements about the gate change [oops.] and after i pointed out that the screens at the gate had been showing a blue blank screen for over an hour [still not making excuses- am an idiot.] they pointed me in the right direction to board the Chicago flight- at E5.

So I hauled butt to the ticket counter of E5, where there were no United staff members in sight and that, ladies and gentlemen, is when the knot in my stomach really started to turn.  A minute or two later, the E5 ticket taker returned from the plane, informing me that the door had been shut and I was out of luck. [although, her words may have not been that friendly.]

Wow. And so I realized that I am a complete idiot and a bit of a fool. BUT- It has happened.  My boarding the wrong plane is the most embarrassing moment of 2009; it trumped the humiliation that is the broken engagement. [what a great way to end 2009, right?]

The next 90 minutes or so was spent at the ticket counter, on the phone with United, and checking in with my parents and my boss about when my new possible departure and arrival times.  And therefore explain several times that I was so concerned with my luggage, that I couldn’t bother to take note that I was boarding the wrong plane.

Finally, it was decided that I would be departing DFW at 12:53 PM on Monday, arriving in Albany at 8:11 PM- meaning I will be missing work tomorrow. Luckily, I have the best boss in the entire world, who totally understands my absent-mindedness and kept me calm when I called her apologizing behind teary eyes during my slight anxiety attack  filled situation.   

I have to admit, even though I feel REALLY badly about missing my flight, I am happy that if I was to spend the night anywhere, it is in Denton with my family. 

I still felt pretty stupid even after all the arrangements were made, so I decided to go on an Operation Beautiful posting spree. One of the best parts of Operation Beautiful is that each note posted not only benefits the readers, but also the writer.  Every time I post a note I leave feeling encouraged and ready to face whatever is thrown my way.  Those little post-its of truth and kindness are like insta-drug for the soul.

I knew I needed that insta-shot of goodness because I still felt like the biggest goof on the planet, so I got out my Operation Beautiful travel kit and made my way around the airport while I waited for my mom and sister to come and pick me up.

While I was posting the notes, Kelsey sent me a twitter message telling me to post on a note on her behalf, so I thought I would take a moment to spread the joy from her voice

and while I was at it, I knew I may have needed a little reminder of my own, so I posted a note for myself on my computer-

Because the truth is, even though I was too oblivious to hear several announcements, walked on the wrong plane, hit a woman in the face with my bag several times, embraced a stranger, missed my flight, will be missing a day of work, and made both of my parents take unnecessary trips to the airport, I know that I am wonderful.  We are all wonderful. Even on days we really don’t feel like it.