So often, goals and resolutions are set for what we don’t like about ourselves.

We want to stop doing something we don’t like that we do.  Smoking. Biting nails. Dating the wrong men. Spending money without thinking it through first.  Eating fast food.  Taking shots of Patron. Sleeping past noon. Caffeine. Bad reality television.

We want to take on something we don’t do enough, if at all.  Working out.  Practicing Yoga, the guitar, or self-restraint.  Cooking 6 nights a week.  Giving a portion of your paycheck to charity.  Calling your mother.  Keeping up with your correspondence.

And these things may need to be evaluated.  These things may need to be stopped or started.  These things may make our lives better.  But what about that in which we are already fabulous.

During my 2009 Operation Beautiful Christmas Vacation Traveling Posting Spree, I had a thought.  I had just finished leaving a note at the Starbucks counter at DFW (you know, BEFORE i boarded the wrong plane) and what I had left behind was really starting to work it’s truthful magic on me; 

It’s true, you know. You ARE fabulous. You are the only one of you, the only version of yourself.  Your uniqueness makes you extra wonderful.  The things you do better than most people, your talents, your strengths, your individual thoughts and creative outlets.  Even your least favorite attributes make you wonderfully extraordinary.  And although its sometimes hard for me to remember it, the same goes for myself. 

I am Fabulous. It is true. I should take time to remind myself of that truth today. and everyday.

And, as a matter of fact, I should take time to remind myself of that all year long- which is why 2010 has a different tone to the annual list of resolutions.

Not so much a list of what to do better, what to try to accomplish, or what to stop taking part in (because let’s be real- if you know me at all, you know that I do this on a day-to-day, week-to-week basis) but instead, a list of things that contribute to my overall fabulousness that I will continue to nurture because I am deserving of that level of self-care.  A Declaration of my Fabulous Independence, if you will.

In 2010 I resolve to…

• Blog shamelessly.  I will not apologize for the fact that I enjoy my writing. I will not apologize for thinking that anyone finds me interesting enough to read what I have to say. I will continue to invest time into THS because I enjoy this hobby and this community of bloggers. My blog is fabulous in it’s own way, and I’m not giving up on my blog.

  

• Call myself a runner. I’ve had this debate with myself before. I run. I run at my own pace and for my own distance goals. I run, therefore I am a runner. I will not get hooked into negative thinking that I am not qualified to call myself a runner before I have only run x number of miles without stopping.  I will call myself a runner and continue to move forward at my own healthy, steady pace. Running is fabulous, and I’m not giving up on running.
  
•  Celebrate small victories every day. Only took two bites of cheesecake instead of eating the whole thing? HOORAY! Finished half of the to-do list? YIPPEE! Ran a mile and a half even though my plan says to run 2 miles? WOO-HOO!  Spent 5 extra minutes doing core work than anticipated? YESSSSS! Made it through The Family Stone without shedding a tear? [yeah, like that is ever going to happen.]

  This year, instead of saying “I shouldn’t have had any of the cheesecake”, “I still have half a list to accomplish”, “I stopped a half mile short”, “I could have done 10 more minutes”, or “I am such a sap!” I am choosing to celebrate what I do accomplish.  No matter what may be left undone until next time. Small or half-completed accomplishments are still fabulous, and I’m not giving up celebrating the small victories.

  

• Love unconditionally. Even, and especially, when other people in my life don’t find my love necessary.  I will treat strangers with kindness.  I will show grace to those who have wronged me. I will be quick to forgive, slow to anger, and slow to blame.  Even when people question my intentions, tell me I deserve better, or insist I should be upset- I will love with a pure, forceful humanitarian love that can only make me a better person. Loving the least of these if fabulous, and I am not giving up on anyone.
• Refuse to apologize for my emotions. Growing up I was what one might call a cry baby.  In high school I was often poked fun at because I would cry easily- no matter what emotion I was experiencing.  Happy tears, angry tears, embarrassed tears, sad tears, heartbroken tears, adrenaline tears, frustrated tears, confused tears, complacent tears, overjoyed tears- you name it, I shed them.  When I moved from Wisconsin to Louisiana, I think I toughened up a bit- I still cried when overcome with extra-powerful emotion, but I had taught myself how to better control the waterworks.  I could fight them and hold them back..  A few years ago, when living in Texas, a few friends and I were headed to the beach to celebrate a half birthday (this was not unusual)- during the trip, one of the very best friends I’ve ever had was talking about his childhood, and what he was saying stirred my heart a bit.  I started crying and could not hold it back.  I quickly apologized for my burst of uncontrollable emotion and my friend said something to me that has stayed with me ever since; “Don’t EVER apologize for your emotions.  They are beautiful things and they make you the beautiful person that you are.”

  I’ve been trying to live by this rule ever since, but it’s not always easy.  Especially when I’ve faced some abnormally hard times over the past several months.  I find myself feeling a certain way and instantly talking myself out of it, covering it up and trying to find a “better, less involved” emotion to take it’s place.  But I recently realized that this does not help at all. Sure I may force myself to avoid bitterness at the moment, but when it uncovers it’s ugly head from where I have buried it later on in my life, it often comes back stronger, much more intense than before.  Wouldn’t it have been much better if I would have taken time to deal with the bitterness when it first came into the picture instead of just sweeping it under the rug, hiding it with happiness or strength, or girl-power?  Sometimes I feel like I should appear a certain way to others, and possibly even myself, when dealing with things.  This year I am going to embrace my emotions, even the ugly ones.  I am going to experience the emotions as they happen, because even the bad emotions are involved in making me who I am.  All of my emotions are fabulous, and I’m not giving up on truly experiencing all that life brings by stashing my emotions under lock and key.

• Procrastinate.  Procrastination can also be linked to having a free spirit which leads to sporadic bouts of fun, doing that which makes oneself happy (even if that happiness is watching the E! Network), and not being a complete control freak (not that there’s anything wrong with that.). It seems like every year I add “procrastinate less” to my list of goals for the upcoming new year, but not today.  Today I will proudly declare myself a procrastinator and know that goodness does lie in the day I choose to have coffee with a new friend rather than clean my apartment or clear my Google reader rather than get to the post office before it closes. Procrastination can be fabulous, and I’m not giving up on living in the moment.
• Continue to type quickly, send random mail to my friends across the nation, apologize first & even when it’s not my fault, bake many treats for friends, laugh at my mistakes, say “thank you”, read magazines, watch bad (and good!) TV, seek and speak honesty, eat ice cream, depend on my parents for comfort and support, drink red wine, indulge a little bit each day, pretend I’m hosting a cooking show as I create new recipes, sing along with the Glee soundtrack while at the office, wear flats instead of heels, cheer for the Badgers, carrying my things around in a laundry basket, spend too much money on somethings I really don’t need, compare my life to characters in film, sing the incorrect lyrics to songs everyone else knows, and spend too much time with my online friends and not enough time searching for real life friends. And so much more.

and so i guess, overall i do have one major 2010 new years resolution “to do”:

remind myself of this often; Be proud of myself and all that makes me fabulous!

and celebrate it. ALL YEAR LONG.

YOU ARE FABULOUS!  What is it about yourself that you plan on continuing in 2010 that should be celebrated?  What trait of yours do you love and never plan on giving up that I can toast to when ringing in the new year?  CHEERS!